The power of simple words…. and actions

This morning I decided to send a few text messages to my aunts( both blood ones and those who have been there for so long, it would be weird to call them by name or any other title) The texts did not say much, simple greetings, letting them know I think about them and pray for them.

One of them, who lives in Nairobi called me excitedly soon after I received a delivery report. The conversation was in Kinyarawanda but I can loosely translate it as follows. “You have made my day, that message just spiced up(added kamulali)  my morning.” While I was still smiling, trying to think of a reply, she said, “I love you.” and hang up.

This is probably one of the reasons why  I was in high spirits today before the dark forces decided to rain on my parade.

I have always believed that when one is feeling low, they should try to spread love and cheer to others (only if you can muster the courage) because in the end, it sort of comes back to you, at least in my experience.

I extended courtesy that I did not even feel in my system and someone miles away was ecstatic. In that moment, I genuinely felt loved and grateful too 🙂

Love is an excessively used term. Most don’t realise that it is a necessity to succeed in this world. The most powerful expression of love must always come through actions not words.

On a different note, I have always been a firm believer in “Actions speak louder than words.” You can tell me you love me everyday and it shall mean absolutely nothing if not coupled with actions to match your declarations. I do admit though that sometimes, it helps to just hear someone tell you “I love you and everything will be okay,” depending on their role in your life.

Growing up,with all the romantic novels and movies, it seemed that those ‘three magic words’ were the icing on the cake for any relationship. Once a man told the woman of his dreams he loved her, for the first time, fireworks exploded and they lived happily ever after. Except in the real world, sometimes those we love the most never utter those words or when they do, it is never enough Vs those who might be a little too generous with them while totally failing on delivery. C’est la vie.

Where was I? Yes. Use the phrase sparingly unless you really mean it, that should be fair to everyone, no?

I have a friend who always uses me as an example when referring to all things mushy and emotional. I must admit I am guilty as charged but there is such a thing as exaggeration on his part. *smh* That being said, even in all my ‘mushiness,’ I do not throw the word love around. If I do not mean it, chances are I will not use it but on top of that, because of our society and all its ‘deep thinkers,’ it isn’t very easy to use the word in a platonic sense without it being ‘read into’ a little too much.

Bill and I have been friends for a couple of years. If you woke me up in the middle of the night and asked me for a list of my ‘ride or die’ friends, his name would probably be in the top 5. However, with all my ‘action oriented beliefs,’ it had never been in my plan to mention that I love him because it was obvious. Could he not tell from our conversations, sacrifices and everything in between?  I had never even thought about it because it wasn’t a topic of discussion, it just…was.

Well, one evening we said our goodbyes and as we parted ways he said “Goodnight, love you,” in the most casual tone. In my mind I was thinking I must be hearing things, so I let it go. However, when he did it again and I noticed there were no ulterior motives, so to speak, I began to respond accordingly. Needless to say, it was a bit of foreign territory to me but it was not a bad thing so I learnt to adapt. There aren’t many males in my life that I can freely use that phrase with so for them, they will have to judge from my actions till further notice.

“Words provide a voice to our deepest feelings. I tell you, words have started and stopped wars. Words have built and lost fortunes. Words have saved and taken lives. Words have won and lost great kingdoms. Even Buddha said, ‘Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.” 

When it comes to kids, however, I believe we should shower them with compliments and I love yous till we run out of breath.  If God forbid, anything happens to you as a parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, etc- the best thing a child can/should remember is how much love you showed them and also how many times you said it, in case the actions slip their mind.

I know for a fact that my late grandfather  and several other parents of that generation ‘taught’ through ridicule. How?

You come home with poor grades and you are told ” This is why you shan’t have anyone asking for your hand in marriage, you are stupid! Why can’t you be like the neigbour’s child who is beautiful and brilliant?”

You get my drift? Words like these can bruise one’s esteem so bad. In the end, the actions shall be constantly compared to these harsh words and the message shall probably get lost in translation, especially for a child who is still trying to digest all these situations in his/her little mind.

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” 

The next time a loved one does something special and you are itching to tell them how much they mean to you, go right ahead.

You can’t possibly know how much good it will do for them, or even for you 🙂

“Words! What power they hold. Once they have rooted in your psyche, it is difficult to escape them. Words can shape the future of a child and destroy the existence of an adult.
Words are powerful. Be careful how you use them because once you have pronounced them, you cannot remove the scar they leave behind.” 

love u

xoxo

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