Me, myself and I

Someone once told me ‘never to start’ if I wanted to live with my loved ones peacefully.

In her view, if you know you aren’t going to do something ‘till death,’ it is better you do not start it at all.

Here is an illustration;

If a man is courting a lady and pulling out as many tricks as possible out of his bag, he should be ready and willing to maintain them when she finally says yes.

That means if you opened the door on date number 1, you should keep this up even on date 762. If you used to tell your wife you loved her ‘curves and edges,’ after her third child, you better be ready to continue complimenting her figure.

If you do not intend to then simply ‘don’t start.’ Now does it make sense?

We had a good argument about this. I explained to her that some things are possible ‘now’ and might not be in future so you need to maximise the opportunity while you still can. If you are wealthy, your children deserve to have the best life you can afford. In the event that something goes terribly wrong, and you become bankrupt for instance, at least they have good memories. Would you regret the ‘good life’ they had or wish they had gotten used to rugs in preparation for this time in their life?

Nevertheless, there are times when her reasoning comes to mind and actually makes some sense.

A few weeks ago, I received a rather ‘hilarious’ text from Kate. It was 8.30 a.m on a hot Monday morning and I was figuring my day out when I noticed light flickering on my phone. My day’s first message- “I can’t believe you have also forgotten my birthday,” it read. *Meanwhile, other people were waking up to ‘Good morning beautiful’ texts…but not me*  I digress.

I was flabbergasted. I was not even dressed to leave the house but in this person’s head the day had already ended! I had actually planned to call later that day and wish her a happy birthday-fail!  After giving it some thought, I figured out the problem. She was so used to receiving a message or call from me at midnight so to her 8.30 was too late.

I really wanted to give her a nice long lecture but I thought it would probably make more sense on a different day. How do I ‘forget’ her birthday and also ruin it by trying to pump some sense into her head? I tried to delicately tell her not to ‘attack’ anyone else because people have ‘real’ problems that do not include the day of her birth.

Alas, a minor investigation a few minutes later proved that I was not the only one who had been grilled for ‘forgetting.’ At this point, I decided to laugh it off instead because it was quite ridiculous.

One of the most glaring characteristics I have noticed amongst the human race, over time is egocentrism, in all shapes and sizes. It starts small and then quickly spreads like a bad rash. Worst of all, we practice it with friends and foes, alike.

After satisfying our selfish desires, everyone else can go hang.

Kate didn’t care if I was okay, where I was or how I had been for the past month that she hadn’t checked on me. It was her birthday and thus the world had to stop and pay homage to her royal highness.

“We have a tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve.”

I see it begin in simple ways. You are late for a meeting because something important came up but when someone else is held up, World war III must erupt. God forbid another person has an excuse! You are the only one who is entitled. Your lateness was understandable but theirs must be deliberate.

The boss makes little mistakes that cost the firm their reputation and maybe even some clients from time to time. The moment an employee even dares to think about almost, kind of, getting close to such a blunder, they will be insulted in tongues and reminded how worthless they are (Imagine the irony if this employee’s photograph is pinned on the wall as ‘employee of the month’ amidst all this drama)

It is more ‘acceptable’ coming from a superior but our peers are often the biggest culprits.

One day, you are ‘bffs’ and the next you are an adversary simply because you did not live up to the standards you set. <<The universe and its mockery.

The other day I overheard Michael complain. His very good friend owed him money and had taken weeks to pay it. “It is only 1 million shillings but he makes it seem like 20 million,” he added angrily.

It took a lot of self-control for me not to turn my chair around and wash his dirty linen in public.

He of all people would, idyllically be quiet on matters pertaining to money and debt but NO…one must show the world how ‘able’ he is.

See, Michael had been in those shoes not too long ago. He too owed money for months, much less actually.

During this time, however, he purchased a new phone, tyres for his car and even gave it a paint job.

You know those people who get potbellies when they owe you money and you are there chilling with your ‘one pack?’ >>>Michael is the poster child.

In all his wisdom, he saw it fit to share all this ‘good news’ with his creditor even though he had failed to pay up. Of course, his car’s paint job was more urgent than paying up his debt!

I really hope when his daughter tells him her school fees is due, he won’t reply “but sweetie, can’t you see daddy is still working on the swimming pool at home?”

I have been guilty of this selfishness too, we all have but can we at least make an effort, slap ourselves out of it when we notice it creeping in?



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