The past few weeks have been a roller coaster. You get all the way up there, spin around and then come back down. Before you know it, all the excited squeals you let out are but a distant memory. That pretty much sums up life though, no? That oscillation between “Wow, I do not think I have ever been this happy.” and “I can’t believe a human being can actually go through all this.!” Or something like that…
Today though. We are simply giving thanks! 🙂
For the past 6 days, I have had a cannula inside my vein as I received injections through it daily. I have a pretty high threshold for pain so this was not my biggest problem. It was having to be semi-helpless because I could only use one hand.
The first three days were trickier. It was my right hand (which pretty much does all the work) so I struggled to complete seemingly routine activities like getting dressed. No, this had nothing to do with trying to fix size 8 clothes through a size 10 body. I eventually learnt to adjust and some days I found myself shaking laughter when things failed. Luckily, on Saturday, I got the cannula switched to the left hand so I could do much more on my own. Freedom! Ish.
I pondered a lot about life, death and everything in between. It is disturbing the things that your mind can conjure up when you are idle. I was more thankful for my situation, knowing there are people who live without limbs ‘permanently.’ What about their patient caretakers who may have to bathe and clothe them every day? How do they deal with it?
This season did not mean that life stopped to wait for me. On the contrary, it probably moved faster. I cannot count the number of times I had to say “ I am not available, but please speak to…” At some point, even the people I was delegating to were getting overwhelmed with my workload. Although I knew this, there was little I could do. Others ensured that I felt their stress despite my situation. Yup, no cushions because life must go on!
Nevertheless, I tried to do as much as possible with my ‘one hand’ as I looked forward to Tuesday(today).
I made plans in my mind for all the things I needed to do when this phase came to an end. Unsurprisingly, the first seven or so are work related. It’s not all work though.
During my ‘break,’ I also got to read quite a bit and stare pictures on fashion blogs that got me shaking my piggy bank as if to estimate what my current savings could do.
There are these cute pumps that might be purchased or simply stared at one last time as motivation for the ‘good life.’ I fancied me a nice long warm bath to ‘wash away all this pain’ (check), I promised myself I would wave my two working hands around just for fun check, check) Oooh and God knows this body needs a massage for all the sores and awkward sleeping positions.
Last but not least, a week (more like a life) of thanksgiving for the gift of life, all my limbs, persistent friends who stick with you even when you ignore their calls and pleas to visit, the one who stuck with me through my hospital visits and my very awesome family that includes a member who just yesterday asked what in the world a cannula was plus another one who seemed pained every time he walked into my room that I wanted to comfort him instead.
Star ta fa! Season 5,678,943, Episode 1 now loading….
To God be the glory!