Little joys

Time check 17:40. I can’t believe this day is actually coming to an end!

We are a little over two weeks into November and my goodness, what a month! I will save you the details and focus on the past few days.

I have been battling insomnia for a while now. I honestly can’t remember a time when I had 8 hours of sleep. Thanks to my predicament, I appreciate rest more than the average person. I respect people’s sleep because I know exactly what it means to live without it.

The past few weeks have been worse than usual. I am now averaging 1-2 hours no matter how tired I am. Whether I have been working my brain or my body for hours on end, my eyes shall refuse to shut. When they do, the brain will refuse to become inactive. The result is a bed that hardly serves its purpose and a system that is akin to a Zombie’s.

Recently after failing to sleep, I thanked God that I wasn’t in pain at least. Imagine that combination. Must.find.the.silver.lining.

So, last night as I worked on an assignment, the universe connived with my data to run out at 11:50 despite a deadline I had to beat. Additionally, I had spent 80,000 in two weeks on internet that just kept  disappearing when I most needed it. I cringed!

I soon remembered that I could buy a night shift bundle and tether my phone. Oh the glee! I quickly worked. At 2.30 a.m, my system failed. I could watch the video but not decipher the words. I could read but nothing made sense. What could be worse? I was still unable to sleep. Earlier in the day, I had called my doctor friend and asked him to prescribe a drug that was strong and could give me a quick fix. “All I need is some sleep, any sleep,” I begged. He wore his professional hat and instead recommended another doctor. All I wanted was sleep. *Sigh*

I was out of bed by 5 a.m, internet zero, brain alert, magical sound of  raindrops. Perfect weather to sleep, right?

I was ready to leave the house by 7 a.m and look for a place to work as I figured out what to do with all the future assignments. I decided to clean as distraction to my heavy heart. The rain continued for a while and I decided to stay home till my meeting, whether the rain had yielded or not.

Upon arrival at the coffee shop, I quickly realised their internet was also not as fast. The buffering would mean I would not be able to do much work. The meeting was short. I peered over my shoulder and noticed an acquaintance sitting not far from me. When I gave a brief of my predicament, she let me log on to her wireless internet. How kind!

It wasn’t long before it got messy too. The hour long sessions on video would get to 20 minutes, black out and require a complete start over. I was devastated. I could not binge on anymore tea because tea in this city is more expensive than imported alcohol *dollar yalinya* even when I know I could have flasks on end at home. <Is this why people fail to leave power and accumulate embezzled funds? Is it because they remember their past hustle and think never again?>

I digress.

I decided to read the notes that could withstand unstable internet. If I fail, what reason will I give? I am from a third world country? I think not.

I ignored all phone calls. I couldn’t know if it was good or bad news and honestly I feared I would snap at either. It was easier to stay away from any other unknown situations

It was then that my angel walked in. Someone whom I met a few weeks ago.I don’t even have her phone number and the second time we meet, she simply saves my day.

She had lunch as I had ‘kaboozi (conversation) I decided to rant. After all, It seems much easier to speak to someone you don’t know well about certain things. The worst she can do is ignore me the next time we meet so I did not have much to lose.

She ate. I talked. She spoke. I talked some more. We shared experiences, including about how worry will not solve anything. Yes, I said those words even as I worried! *Do as I say not as I do*

We laughed. Oh laughter, I missed you!

I forgot that I was hungry,tired and devastated.

Before she left, she suggested I go to her office and get my work done. The coward in me was already asking if her workmates would scold her for it instead of jumping at the offer in a heartbeat. She assured me it was okay and their internet would probably not disappoint me.

As I type this, I have successfully completed the lecture and downloaded 3 hours of another one that I can attend to tonight. I can even go by the 4040 meeting for a bit before my trek back to reality. How cool is that?!

I have just realised I last had a meal in the morning and that many of the troubles that existed before this still do but that’s farrrrr besides the point. I got the work done! Yaay!

I am not too sure about tomorrow but I am sure about right now and about God’s impeccable timing. He sent me this angel right when I needed her.

Meanwhile, I can’t thank her enough.

Trust me to make an essay out what was meant to be a short tale. *shakes head*


time for



Less talk

For the past couple of weeks, I have had a love-hate relationship with social media. Actually, that might not be entirely accurate. It has been mostly hate-hate.
I am not quite sure what kick people get out of being the first to type “RIP” thus killing people the moment they find out they have a terminal illness. It is bad enough that as a celebrity, you give your life to others but do they have to lurk in the shadows ‘anticipating’ your death too?
It is quite appalling really. On top of sharing incorrect information, we cannot wait to make a connection to the deceased. “He died before giving me that last interview, RIP.” How is this even important? Amidst all this drama, there is an actual fraternity who know and love the said person. A family that is struggling with pain as it is but has to keep assuring the ‘world’ how their loved one is still alive. But do we care? Why, when we can type ‘RIP’ and go on with our lives? Argh!
While we are still on the topic of sharing bad News, what kind of sadist shares images of someone that is at their lowest without the consent of their family? Once the story ‘forcefully’ comes out, we begin to complain about the fundraising for this person’s medical bills? Are our lives so sad that the only way we can feel ‘better’ is if we know someone else is suffering? Do we absolutely have to say/type every crude thought that comes to our vile minds?
I am not even going to use that line of what if it was your sibling or parent. They are human beings and that is all that should matter-regardless of your relation to them.
I am quite perplexed by this desire to ‘excitedly’ share bad News and then find a conspiracy theory soon after.

“To do nothing is the way to be nothing.”

Children lose their mother in their presence, cold blood- and it is suddenly a bad thing that an individual would like to raise funds to secure their future? These innocent children will probably be traumatised for a very long time. That is not our problem though, we can just sit at our desk and use office internet to criticise the brains behind such initiatives. Ask yourself. What have you done for someone other than yourself? Did anyone tell you which cause to back or step away from or was it a personal decision?

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”

Poverty, illness, natural calamities are not exiting our world any time soon. We can continue to simply talk about them and point fingers at the powers that be or we can do what is possible to make a small difference right NOW. Criticising people who are making that difference is not a good look on you. You want to remain relevant and a few retweets might help your ego a bit but quite frankly, you are simply a disgrace.

It has been quite difficult for me to read or watch anything about the Garissa attacks. I can’t fathom what those families are going through. One week later and the pain is still fresh. I wish I could do more than pray or somehow wave a wand and bring those young souls back to life. Unfortunately, I can’t.
However, instead of sending our love and support to Kenya, we are concerned about which international News channel is giving the story the attention it deserves. I am sorry, what?! Do they determine what your emotions are or does their opinion give validation of this massacre?
Hundreds of people all over the world are holding vigils for the students that passed away and that solidarity is what the world needs. You want a March similar to the one world leaders held to honour the victims of the Charlie Hebdo attack? By all means organise one.
If somebody at CNN slept on the job and let the screen show Nairobi, Nigeria and this causes an uproar louder than the security issue that is before us, the lives that we keep losing, then frankly, we need some help. A lot of help actually.

“If not us, then who? If not now, then when?”