Wealth, Survival and everything in between

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Wealth: “An abundance of valuable possessions or money.”

This journey has neither brought me money nor ‘valuable possesions’ in the sense of precious stones, assets or sports car to show off😉 but it has opened my heart to different kinds of wealth.

When I decided to leave formal employment, I will admit I didn’t really have a plan when it came to finances and how to survive. I didn’t take time to think about the next few years; about investments and anything of the sort..I just left.

I am fast approaching the 3-decade mark. I live at home with my parents. I do not have vast acres of land that my great grand parents left me and my collective wealth lies in a ridiculous number of notebooks (which Suzan already booked)

Do I think about the fact that my peers drive to the cafe when we meet up for tea and all I have are ‘boda tales?’ Yes. Have I watched them move house and gradually stock up their dream homes? Yup.
Do I celebrate them when they get a raise or purchase a piece of land? Definitely!
Am I present when they exchange their vows and bring life into this world? Me, my emotions and yet-to-be-perfected ululations represent in full swing!😊
So, what is the plan?

Am I waiting for that fine day when I will win the lottery or am I convinced that I will marry into wealth?😮

 

 

I did two interviews last week and both journalists were keen to hear how I ‘survive.’ I smiled knowingly.
I do talks and when it is ‘Q&A’ time, as sure as we are of meeting a pothole along our daily paths..that question does come up. Sometimes, I try to slip the response in before it is asked.
My favourite concern comes from my supposed loved ones; who have never so much as shown interest in the work that I do or how I got there; who neither applaud not offer positive words but when they get a chance, they pull me aside to ask “When will you get a job?
“Didn’t your parents do enough by taking you to school, why are you still burdening them by staying at home?” For some, their solution is marriage. Of course, take my burdens elsewhere, why don’t I? While we are on this, which ‘free’ forest is open for me to come and pick the poor victim of this union?😒

Is it easy to live a life in which you don’t expect a monthly pay cheque,rent from your tenants, *insert other sources of income* ? Nope
Am I blind to how fast paced the world is and all the things made easier by the presence of money and his friends? Negative
Now let me ask you?
Do people who have a stable income and the ability to provide for themselves and their families still have problems?
Back to the definition of wealth, shall any of us take our ‘money and valuable possessions’ on our trip six-feet under?

The truth is that there is probably nothing anyone with great intentions (or not) will tell me about my survival needs that I haven’t thought of; not to mention I am my biggest critic.
After their annual check up on my status, they go back to their lives and I keep living mine.
Most importantly, the person I am most answerable to here on earth is…ME.
This means I get to decide what is comfortable and enough for ME. Isn’t it just great?!

Some people receive satisfaction from seeing the number of zeroes on their bank statements, others derive it from looking at all their assets; for some, joy is in the form of their family or loved ones; the list is endless.

You find someone giving their all because they believe in a cause;it gives them purpose, fills their hearts,brings them closer to their dream and literally gets them up in the morning daily and it is legal/not affecting you in anyway but your first instinct is to poo all over because your life’s mission is to play ‘devil’s advocate.’

Quick one: Kikulumira wa? (Loosely translated; “how does it affect you?”) I am speaking to the ones who ask, not with the purpose of offering to help but so that they can ridicule or confirm that you’re better than person X. Why?
Seriously though. WHY?!

I would like to say this from my brief experience;
Take comfort in your big dream even if it is unevenly matched by small savings; sit tight in that taxi or on that boda boda knowing well that it will not always be like that; and so what if it is? You do get from point A to B, no?
Desist from comparing yourself to people even if you were raised in the same household, heck even if you’re twins! ; our paths are different and THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYTHING. Now, this is difficult to put into practice, I can tell you that I battle with it often; especially if you feel you deserve better, you have invested too much time, your blessing is taking too long or your hard work has come to naught. I urge you, Keep at it. Talk to someone whom you know is on your team; keep learing and improving yourself as an individual; find solace in the higher power you believe in. So everything it takes!
If it helps you get up in the morning then clearly you need/want it.
AND;
If for whatever reason, you find yourself doing something which doesn’t bring you any pleasure and/or satisfaction but simply because society ‘approves.’ Stop. Re-evaluate. Look around you. Ask yourself if ‘they’ really deserve you and what you have to give.

I am not an authority at all, but as I type this. I am living my dream with the most minimal resources you can think of.
I am not wealthy by dictionary definition but I have found a way to get work done using other people’s resources. Along the way, I have learnt countless lessons and God knows I have amassed wealth in form of people and bountiful love
The mention of my surname doesn’t cause earthquakes or get work done and every other day is a new battle.
There are still so many people, including those I love who think this is a phase, a pastime that I will snap out of and my goodness there is so much I haven’t figured out!😨😥😢
Nonetheless, still I rise and I am glad to share that in all its imperfection, I would still choose this life.😊😍

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Little joys

Time check 17:40. I can’t believe this day is actually coming to an end!

We are a little over two weeks into November and my goodness, what a month! I will save you the details and focus on the past few days.

I have been battling insomnia for a while now. I honestly can’t remember a time when I had 8 hours of sleep. Thanks to my predicament, I appreciate rest more than the average person. I respect people’s sleep because I know exactly what it means to live without it.

The past few weeks have been worse than usual. I am now averaging 1-2 hours no matter how tired I am. Whether I have been working my brain or my body for hours on end, my eyes shall refuse to shut. When they do, the brain will refuse to become inactive. The result is a bed that hardly serves its purpose and a system that is akin to a Zombie’s.

Recently after failing to sleep, I thanked God that I wasn’t in pain at least. Imagine that combination. Must.find.the.silver.lining.

So, last night as I worked on an assignment, the universe connived with my data to run out at 11:50 despite a deadline I had to beat. Additionally, I had spent 80,000 in two weeks on internet that just kept  disappearing when I most needed it. I cringed!

I soon remembered that I could buy a night shift bundle and tether my phone. Oh the glee! I quickly worked. At 2.30 a.m, my system failed. I could watch the video but not decipher the words. I could read but nothing made sense. What could be worse? I was still unable to sleep. Earlier in the day, I had called my doctor friend and asked him to prescribe a drug that was strong and could give me a quick fix. “All I need is some sleep, any sleep,” I begged. He wore his professional hat and instead recommended another doctor. All I wanted was sleep. *Sigh*

I was out of bed by 5 a.m, internet zero, brain alert, magical sound of  raindrops. Perfect weather to sleep, right?

I was ready to leave the house by 7 a.m and look for a place to work as I figured out what to do with all the future assignments. I decided to clean as distraction to my heavy heart. The rain continued for a while and I decided to stay home till my meeting, whether the rain had yielded or not.

Upon arrival at the coffee shop, I quickly realised their internet was also not as fast. The buffering would mean I would not be able to do much work. The meeting was short. I peered over my shoulder and noticed an acquaintance sitting not far from me. When I gave a brief of my predicament, she let me log on to her wireless internet. How kind!

It wasn’t long before it got messy too. The hour long sessions on video would get to 20 minutes, black out and require a complete start over. I was devastated. I could not binge on anymore tea because tea in this city is more expensive than imported alcohol *dollar yalinya* even when I know I could have flasks on end at home. <Is this why people fail to leave power and accumulate embezzled funds? Is it because they remember their past hustle and think never again?>

I digress.

I decided to read the notes that could withstand unstable internet. If I fail, what reason will I give? I am from a third world country? I think not.

I ignored all phone calls. I couldn’t know if it was good or bad news and honestly I feared I would snap at either. It was easier to stay away from any other unknown situations

It was then that my angel walked in. Someone whom I met a few weeks ago.I don’t even have her phone number and the second time we meet, she simply saves my day.

She had lunch as I had ‘kaboozi (conversation) I decided to rant. After all, It seems much easier to speak to someone you don’t know well about certain things. The worst she can do is ignore me the next time we meet so I did not have much to lose.

She ate. I talked. She spoke. I talked some more. We shared experiences, including about how worry will not solve anything. Yes, I said those words even as I worried! *Do as I say not as I do*

We laughed. Oh laughter, I missed you!

I forgot that I was hungry,tired and devastated.

Before she left, she suggested I go to her office and get my work done. The coward in me was already asking if her workmates would scold her for it instead of jumping at the offer in a heartbeat. She assured me it was okay and their internet would probably not disappoint me.

As I type this, I have successfully completed the lecture and downloaded 3 hours of another one that I can attend to tonight. I can even go by the 4040 meeting for a bit before my trek back to reality. How cool is that?!

I have just realised I last had a meal in the morning and that many of the troubles that existed before this still do but that’s farrrrr besides the point. I got the work done! Yaay!

I am not too sure about tomorrow but I am sure about right now and about God’s impeccable timing. He sent me this angel right when I needed her.

Meanwhile, I can’t thank her enough.

Trust me to make an essay out what was meant to be a short tale. *shakes head*

BYE!

time for