Blueberry cupcake

It is one of those weekends that doesn’t seem like one. It is quiet and the air is heavy. Today’s weather is actually not bad, Linda took a walk without a shawl, gloves or hat and it was okay. Still, something just doesn’t feel right.

It’s been like this since Wednesday evening. After a fascinating lecture led by a charismatic woman, Linda was surprised to get to her residence with a sudden wave of gloom. What had changed?

Do you ever get that feeling like something bad is about to happen and you don’t know what it is but the pressure is so strong? That’s what she felt. She thought it could have been because elections were the next day back in Uganda, but she could not confirm it. Instead, she prayed and went to bed earlier than usual.

She started to regret her decision to get off social media as the days went by, she needed to know what was going on. Linda had gone to church at the beginning of lent after she resolved to get onto social media only once a week. She’d thought she would check on a day with no activity, preferably a weekend to make her intention more ‘valid.’ However, something happened that she just couldn’t explain.  By the time she got home, the new plan was to go all out. As election week began, the urge grew stronger. It did not help that her classmates were making reference to different online activity. Her class even had references on twitter but she chose to stick to her decision, despite the temptation.

Yesterday’s class introduced the concept of posthumanism that was interlinked with human’s co-existence with technology. Some students admitted they could not live without their phones or social media and she could only grin, she still had over a month to go.  Since she had began this phase, her journal got more pages filled and the mind worked in overtime.  After realising one of the things she missed the most was Humans of New York,’ it hit her, albeit late, that besides just facebook, there was a website she could follow! That would be a good distraction from all the worry she was desperately trying to fight.

You know what else helps? Cake! After a few errands this morning, Linda chanced upon a cupcake stall. There were at least 50 flavours to choose from. That should be a good thing, except she simply stood helplessly unable to make up her mind. Finally, she settled for a blueberry cupcake. Unlike most Londoners who have no qualms about walking while eating, anywhere and everywhere, she saved her treat for when she got back to the room.

A cup of caramel flavoured tea was poured and then it was time to devour the cupcake. It is true what they say about good things coming in the smallest packages because Linda’s only trouble with it was that it ‘disappeared’ too fast.

bluebery cup cake

Perhaps, like Linda, you are in some sort of turmoil, mind, body or soul, maybe even, all the above. Find a little something to do just for you or someone else. If it is the only smile that you can afford, that’s better than none at all.

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Little joys

Time check 17:40. I can’t believe this day is actually coming to an end!

We are a little over two weeks into November and my goodness, what a month! I will save you the details and focus on the past few days.

I have been battling insomnia for a while now. I honestly can’t remember a time when I had 8 hours of sleep. Thanks to my predicament, I appreciate rest more than the average person. I respect people’s sleep because I know exactly what it means to live without it.

The past few weeks have been worse than usual. I am now averaging 1-2 hours no matter how tired I am. Whether I have been working my brain or my body for hours on end, my eyes shall refuse to shut. When they do, the brain will refuse to become inactive. The result is a bed that hardly serves its purpose and a system that is akin to a Zombie’s.

Recently after failing to sleep, I thanked God that I wasn’t in pain at least. Imagine that combination. Must.find.the.silver.lining.

So, last night as I worked on an assignment, the universe connived with my data to run out at 11:50 despite a deadline I had to beat. Additionally, I had spent 80,000 in two weeks on internet that just kept  disappearing when I most needed it. I cringed!

I soon remembered that I could buy a night shift bundle and tether my phone. Oh the glee! I quickly worked. At 2.30 a.m, my system failed. I could watch the video but not decipher the words. I could read but nothing made sense. What could be worse? I was still unable to sleep. Earlier in the day, I had called my doctor friend and asked him to prescribe a drug that was strong and could give me a quick fix. “All I need is some sleep, any sleep,” I begged. He wore his professional hat and instead recommended another doctor. All I wanted was sleep. *Sigh*

I was out of bed by 5 a.m, internet zero, brain alert, magical sound of  raindrops. Perfect weather to sleep, right?

I was ready to leave the house by 7 a.m and look for a place to work as I figured out what to do with all the future assignments. I decided to clean as distraction to my heavy heart. The rain continued for a while and I decided to stay home till my meeting, whether the rain had yielded or not.

Upon arrival at the coffee shop, I quickly realised their internet was also not as fast. The buffering would mean I would not be able to do much work. The meeting was short. I peered over my shoulder and noticed an acquaintance sitting not far from me. When I gave a brief of my predicament, she let me log on to her wireless internet. How kind!

It wasn’t long before it got messy too. The hour long sessions on video would get to 20 minutes, black out and require a complete start over. I was devastated. I could not binge on anymore tea because tea in this city is more expensive than imported alcohol *dollar yalinya* even when I know I could have flasks on end at home. <Is this why people fail to leave power and accumulate embezzled funds? Is it because they remember their past hustle and think never again?>

I digress.

I decided to read the notes that could withstand unstable internet. If I fail, what reason will I give? I am from a third world country? I think not.

I ignored all phone calls. I couldn’t know if it was good or bad news and honestly I feared I would snap at either. It was easier to stay away from any other unknown situations

It was then that my angel walked in. Someone whom I met a few weeks ago.I don’t even have her phone number and the second time we meet, she simply saves my day.

She had lunch as I had ‘kaboozi (conversation) I decided to rant. After all, It seems much easier to speak to someone you don’t know well about certain things. The worst she can do is ignore me the next time we meet so I did not have much to lose.

She ate. I talked. She spoke. I talked some more. We shared experiences, including about how worry will not solve anything. Yes, I said those words even as I worried! *Do as I say not as I do*

We laughed. Oh laughter, I missed you!

I forgot that I was hungry,tired and devastated.

Before she left, she suggested I go to her office and get my work done. The coward in me was already asking if her workmates would scold her for it instead of jumping at the offer in a heartbeat. She assured me it was okay and their internet would probably not disappoint me.

As I type this, I have successfully completed the lecture and downloaded 3 hours of another one that I can attend to tonight. I can even go by the 4040 meeting for a bit before my trek back to reality. How cool is that?!

I have just realised I last had a meal in the morning and that many of the troubles that existed before this still do but that’s farrrrr besides the point. I got the work done! Yaay!

I am not too sure about tomorrow but I am sure about right now and about God’s impeccable timing. He sent me this angel right when I needed her.

Meanwhile, I can’t thank her enough.

Trust me to make an essay out what was meant to be a short tale. *shakes head*

BYE!

time for